seal it with a kiss !!

I haven't written for a while
But then I have been in and out of time
Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe
Whether what is happening is for real and for keeps

So many ups and downs I have seen
Moments where I simply had to let go of my dreams
I may have reached where I am right now
But not before killing myself in parts, u know how

I still keep sitting for my exams
Which this life keeps giving me
without giving about me, a dam

But then who said it would be simple
Simple is boring
and even moon has its wrinkles

Everyday I tell myself this
this day is gone and tomorrow may be a bliss
Keep pinching yourself to believe what's real
Hold on, hold on, one day you will seal it with a kiss !!

Remember, don't forget

Remember, don't forget

remember, dont forget
dont you ever regret
they came with a purpose
to make rest, unrest

there will be a time
when life again will be fine
till then stay calm
let them come and do whatever harm

no evil goes unpunished
you be good and dont be finished
they have done their part
there will be a time for a new start

remember, dont forget
but keep walking, dont fret
watch with watchful eyes
your soul will be your guide

a moment !!

There are moments in life

When nothing seems to go right

You self evaluate yourself

To try and hold and hold little more tight

Sometimes life brings us to where we started from

We scratch the ground again to rise above the storm

A new soul we find right within ourselves

To guide us to a new path, a road travelled not far

God tests those who he loves

While remaining close only in our hearts

Neither have I seen Him, nor you

But we still believe He is in me, He is in you

Amen !!

there are all kinds of people in this world
some are good and some are just prevert
what do you want to be
it all depends on you and you are free

I have seen some heart of gold
but also few not worth to hold
this is what this world is made of
some are big and some are very small

you have to see the world with your own eyes
decide what is wrong for you and what is right
meeting wrong people also has its way
to differentiate between white and the grey

May God bless this world with love
give happiness to people who truly deserve
you never know where time will take you
in front of whom you one day knew
never be rude never be unkind
thats what my heart believes so let the sun shine

Amen !!

little girl or ...?

what do you see in me
a little girl or a turbulent sea
i myself do not know where i am
i trip and trod in no mans land

i still have that feistiness inside me
the same one i had with two pig tails, around me
i still jump high on tiny little things
though now i hide it with just a simple swing

I remember myself walking with a pride
never looking either left or right
i did whatever i wanted to do
paying no attention to Mr. right or Mr. True

Day was day and night was night
everything was simple with just one candle light
all i knew was to dance and smile
and dream of dreams flying high colourful kites

what happened, I ask myself
where did i lose that little girl, you loved yourself
this is not you, what you wanted to be
you loved to walk as high as stars can ever be

I know you are hungry again for that little dream you had
and little scared, what if, the history would repeat itself
I know that little girl inside you wants to jump and jump
but hold on to your horses, time has not yet come

wake up that little girl slowly and softly
she is terrified of coming out, so move steadily
make her rise again to see a better tomorrow
away from your past, away from all the sorrow

what do you see in me
a little girl or a new me ?

I Sea !!

I stand by the sea

Hand in hand, knee by knee

Sharing the silence underneath

It comes forward to take me by the hand

Pulls me deep inside it strand by strand

Shows me the darkness up its sleeve

How it crawls and screams in the deep

It twists and turns

And the bed is not of roses

Showing me its scars

Left by time in phases

It screams holding me tight

Letting out a howl to blow my mind

I lie still absorbing its pain

Becoming one under the heavy rain

We drift quietly

Now oblivious of world above us

No one to shatter the peace

Which we have found among us

I lie by the sea

Hand in hand, knee by knee

Sharing the silence underneath

don't make me dream !!!

Don't make me dream the dreams, not allowed to be dreamt
Don't make me walk the path, forever which is not meant
each day it's getting difficult for me, to stop and comprehend
to stay away and bury my feelings as im afraid to see the end

as i have left myself to drift with the flow
knowing nothing at all no more
i still restrain myself, so many times at times
as im afraid of these changing sands of time

each day as it grows stronger, the fear in me is making me weak
all i know is im afraid to yet again fall down from the peak
this time i will not be able to walk again, so hear me please
don't make me dream the dreams, which can never be released !!

immaterial !!!

immaterial it shall be, when the shadow of it shall leave me
immaterial it shall be, when it shall be lost forever for eternity
immaterial it shall be, when there shall be no sun, no moon, no stars to see
immaterial it shall be, when there shall be immaterial you, immaterial me

i still remember !!!

two small hands two small feet
came into this world to make it forever sweet
those tiny fingers when closed around my hand
i still remember the joy, which i could not withstand

the day he first stood on the ground
walking like a little prince with a golden crown
his first smile twinkled tears in my eyes
i still remember his first word and all his first tries

those tiny shoulders those tiny feet
are now bigger than me and know no retreat
as he stands shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand
i still remember the days when he built castles in the sand

the awakening !!!

there is a time to speak and there is a time for silence
there is a time to hold and there is a time for streak
Just like there is a time to feel and there is a time to need
there is a time for distance and there is a time to forfeit

life is divided into small small boxes of emotions
we open one of them and let it flow
and then there is a time to let it all go

I have seen them open and I have seen them closed
few of them were wasted and for them there is no hope
but there are still other boxes left deep inside me
i will open them one by one, slowly, decide me

you have seen me talk, now hear my silence
its louder than a thunder, mightier than the sword
for its an awakening after the great great world war

Insignificant me !!

It’s a great feeling of loss which I cannot describe

There is no medicine any doctor can prescribe

I am so silent that I myself cannot hear my beat

You will never know the pain bcoz of this retreat

Though its hard to believe, there is nothing I can do

I sit quietly and watch the things that you have to do

You will never see the sadness behind my smile

You don’t remember the words that have cut like a knife

When I remember you, I don’t smile anymore

There are only tears, washing the silent shore

Even if I want to talk, Im unable to do

Coz I don’t exist, I'm insignificant to you

poison in my blood !!

I sat there silently after a long long time

drinking the poison as if it was wine

no one knew what was going on inside me

because thats the way now I have choosen to be

silence speaks more than words

those who understand knows the curse

I dont have to say anything else anymore

as i dont wait as a spare sitting on the shore

I bled, not dead, but gone

I shall return to be forever strong

The light inside me is still alive

even if I am stranded in the darkness outside

I hug myself when I need some strength

I breathe slowly to understand, comprehend

all I need is strength in my feet and hands to mend

my shoulders can withstand the pain, not meant to bend

there shall be ..... !!

My soul is screaming, wanting to be set free

Away from everyone who think of me, nothing, but a flea

There are negativities around me, which I cannot anymore bear

I may be alone but loneliness is not what I fear

I want to start fresh, as clean as an empty slate

Choose my own colours and write my own colourful fate

I may not be perfect but one thing i am sure

I am not a disease for which you have to find a cure

My time will come, I still believe in myself

I will not let those rotten things make me feel like an elf

One day i will also say merry christmas and happy new year

for this is not darkness but just a pit stop to restart without fear !!

the domino effect !!

I watched them fall, one by one, from the tall

reminded me of the domino effect, right from top of the fall

I was also swept away, in this ferocious ugly turmoil

so should i also pack my bags, look for another pure soil?

I do not know what uncertainity future now holds

may be this is the call about which i was before foretold

i wonder how now this non fairy tale shall unfold

in this saleable market will more innocent souls be sold?

everything is for sale, there are buyers everywhere

no one no more thinks twice before snatching their share

they all look for easy goats helpless sheep to slaughter

wonder how many more will be sacrified to fulfill their insatiable laughter?

one more night !

I turn to writing whenever i am restless

when i cannot sleep when i am senseless

this is the only way i can find myself

things which are hidden deep, cry itself

so much i want to say but i am silent

as there is no one to understand on this barren island

when i want to lay my head on a warm shoulder

all i get is a pillow as the nights gets colder

a tear falls down my empty eyes

but there is no one to stop my cries

i can hear the clock tick, so silent is my world

all i do is bury myself, in work and work and work

a fish without the water,a lion without his den

this is how it feels,often, very often, now and then

lips without a sound, eyes without the sight

how do I reach for you in this cold dark night

prisoner of the past !!!

I sit here in deafening silence, reading my suppressed thoughts

All of them taking me back, to everything till date I have fought

I tremble, I shake, with each and every distant violent memory

Asking the same question again and again, the burden of which, only I, carry

I am completely frozen in time, melting under the fury of accusations

Still remember how each word entered my vein, granting me no restitution

I pray to God every day even in my restless sleep

Please free me of these painful memories, let me no longer weep

I still search for that answer, to bring peace to my questioning mind

I still do not know what was my fault, to make everything, so unkind

Sometimes I am filled with fury, angry at those brutal hearts

Who killed my free soul and made me a prisoner of the past

Will I be able to trust again, a question I ask myself, endlessly

The answer which now is unavailable, but one day, hopefully

This soul shall again fly, freely among the white clouds

Like a bird who has found her wings, again, to be proud

the sin !!

I am available
I am available for one thousand people, said the mighty heart

So proud was it to say these words, full of hate from the start

Nothing happened, it kept on repeating, with a scornful tongue

Was not a big deal and life is nothing but a bag, full of casual fun

It was all in your mind, it said with boastful self admiration
You have others, seek them, I want to run my own administration
Just because I am single dosen’t mean I am interested in you
You are nothing but a frequent maintenance and I’m interested in only few

Things were made clear from the start, it was your fault not to believe
It was just a meet up, it said, to bring few things up the sleeve
You are still trying, it said with stiff pointed blaming fingers
I can be mean, I can be rude, to make use of I have no hinders

Being around you gives you fancy ideas to miss a beat

I want no strings no commitments, as I have someone else to sweep

I am out of stock, it said with all the glory of a winner

It was your own fault to believe, which makes you the sinner

impossible possible !!

the pain goes stronger day everyday
im doing my best to smile, forget the pricks, all the way
how do i make this impossible possible for me
when i know my smile shall never come back to me

the doc asked me when did i smile last
how do i tell her it was left with my past
how do i make this impossible possible for me
when i know there is no will left to smile within me

im struggling to stand back on my feet
after the doc told me the news which was not sweet
i have to make this impossible possible for me
my inner strength needs to rise again and take over me

always on my mind !!

I'm sitting by the phone, waiting it to ping
just to hear one minute small tiny ring
your voice makes my day turn up bright
gives me strength to never give up and fight

I'm remembering the moments spent together
your smile, your words, your touch silky feather
the songs you gave me, the love you showered
the place in your heart that you to me empowered

The trust you gave me, I promise forever to keep
I share the tears with you and deeply deeply weep
The bond that we have shall grow stronger by the day
For you are special to me, in my heart you shall forever stay

This is the only way I can reach you now
so be it, for I shall write for you, touch you, somehow
remember that you shall always be on my mind
even if we don't talk for hours, for hours, sometime

what do i know !!

what do I know of the days to come
what do I know what will I become
all i see is what is in front of me
all i see is what was meant to be

what do i know if there is a tomorrow
what do i know if the days will be full of sorrow
all i know is what i feel
the pain, the hurt, the life, which was never meant to be

what do i know where these roads will end
what do i know where finally will i say THE END
all i am doing is doing my best
to peacefully end this long life quest

what do i know if you felt my pain
what do i know if i ever be same again
all i remember is moments so precious
all i remember is words so slaughterous

what do i know .......................

why should I !!!

why should i accept the things that i have to accept
why should i lie about the things that i have to lie
why should i die for the things that i have to die
why should i cry for the things that i have to cry

why cant i scream, why cant i shout
why cant i dream, why cant i sprout
i am also human i also feel
i am also human i also dream

why should i see the things that i have to see
why should i hear the things that i have to hear
why should i take the things that i have to take
why should i give the things that i have to give

why cant i love
why cant i hug
why cant i feel
just a simple touch

why should i forgive the things that i have to forgive
why should i smile for the things that i have to smile
why should i pretend for the things that i have to pretend
why should i be quiet for the things i have to be quiet

i want to fly
i want to be free
i want to see
only the things i want to see

i want to smile
i want to laugh
i want this world
to be for me
why should I then forget and let you all be !!!!

those days and nights !!!

was it only in my mind
thats a question i keep asking myself all the time
why do people who are close to my heart
always disown me to make a new start

all i did was open my heart
made myself vulnerable right from the start
i never did anything ever to hurt them
always made efforts to love and protect them

then why is it that i have to suffer
for all the goodness and pain that i have to cover
I gave them my soul i gave them my life
and all they did was break all ties

sands of time will take care of me
but those painful days and nights shall stay with me

tell me if i am wrong !!

tell me if i am wrong
if you have a feeling too strong
then how can you easily forget ?

tell me if i am wrong
if someone is important and with you belong
then how can you easily forget ?

tell me if i am wrong
if it meant nothing and was not strong
then only you can easily forget !

tell me if i am wrong
if someone is insignificant and not belong
then only you can easily forget !

tell me if i am wrong !!!

one day will come !!

keep quiet and see
where this world will be
one day will come
when you will become
what you want to be

time is bad
making you sad
but remember PG
things one day will not be mad

those who wanna leave let them go
leave those shores and look for some more
for you know what you are
life is not that far

let them laugh let them play
you keep quiet and dont make them stay
your world is here with your angel
he needs you so rock the cradle

one day will come
when you will become
what you want to be !!!

angry heart !!!

today this heart is very angry
is filled with rage and feeling hungry
to eat up all those moments in one go
which made this heart beat ever ever slow

how can some be so cold and ruthless
to simply walk away feeling clueless
dont they have a heart that beats
dont they have a stand to keep

how can some go back on their words
like it was never spoken not even a curse
dont they feel what they have done
to make their own life just begun

how can God forgive their souls
when they will meet Him in his red hole
I still pray to the Teacher
to give them soul, life and future !!

this is for You !!

every hour that passes, I thank you that it passed
every minute that passes, I thank you that it passed
every second that passes, I thank you that it passed
but you never move and keep still
on that gold and platinum stage which is full of guilt

what have i done to You to punish me this way
all i wished for some peace to come my way
I have never killed anyone or lied or stole
i believed in Santa and always protected Him from the cold

why do you just sit there and not look at me
while I wait in the long queue helplessly
I am doing my best and worked so hard
I beg You not to make my efforts thwart

all i request You is one chance
so that i can fulfil my duties to the best i can
i believed in You and trusted You
for they told me not to lose belief in You

but if you will keep silent anymore long
i will lose the belief and fight You strong
For i have done nothing wrong to deserve this
i have been a good girl and You cannot punish me for this !!!!

a promise !!

life is indeed strange
so unpredictable and so prone to change
when you start moving ahead
it will suddently hit you on the head
to unbalance you once more
and take you back to hurt you more

You tell me what have i done
to make me live in pain right from the young
No one can hear my silent cries
the tears which i cry slowly dries

i still smile for this world
a fake smile for this fake world
But i promise you my son
you will always have your mum !!!

silence !!

out of sight, out of mind
wish that was how world was mine
but the fact remains
i believe in being straight

it will never be immaterial as the cut is too deep
what i felt will never be a repeat
im not trying
im not flying
its a deep wound which will take some time

just plain words will not make it heal
i dont even know how i made you feel
did you feel the pain inside
did you feel the rain outside

while you laugh i cry inside
hiding in a corner smiling outside
missing a friend who forgot me in the end
will he ever understand what he meant

for you moving on is so very simple
leaving me behind whos stuck and feels invisible

wish i could pick up the phone and talk
wish i could cover the hole and walk
but the fact remains
I will never be the same again

small place to curl !!

This heart is so restless eyes are empty

Lips are silent talks are no more plenty

How do I reach you now that you are so far away

Just to hear your voice I can turn night into day

When you look at me, my soul comes to life

Making me melt under your soft light blue eyes

Your touch is like rose petals stroking my arms

Moving me from within protecting me from any harm

Your music fills my heart with love and sorrow

I can feel your pain and I know you don’t live in tomorrow

Your soul is so pure like white satin flowing free

You have touched me like no one else and have stood by me

You have given this heart a heartbeat to beat

Stay with me forever and don’t let my past repeat

Be my strength; hide me from this selfish fake world

Your heart is of pure gold, save me a small place to curl

no more songs !!

I sit here on the same couch, remembering your dark eyes

The silent words which were pouring, covered with that broad smile

You came to me with deep desires in your heart

And then you changed and left me, broken, so broken that now I can't just start

This is life, I know all about it

Don’t need your big words, fake thoughts to show the light around it

I may be alone but not lonely inside

For Im my dad’s daughter and soon there shall be broad daylight

You have chosen your options to make a new start

Didn’t even turn back once, to see that crushed broken heart

I reached to you, endlessly in pain

But you kept moving forward, leaving my emotions in vain

I see you there standing with a new shine in your eyes

With that smile on your face, wondering if ever it was mine

for I still cant believe of all the people it will be you

to give me such misery and pain, to last me my whole life through

What more do I write, what more do I say

Those broken words have no more no more say

I have counted the times I have shed my tears

in those soulful words for which you never had ears

silently I now sit and watch the world go by

the smile has faded my soul has died

you still asked me what was wrong

didn’t you feel this heart sings no more songs?

empty soul !

i sit here with tears in my empty eyes
waiting to see my soul smile a little smile
but it is quiet as dead as dead as me
with nothing to hold on nothing more to set free

those i believed in have left for new surprises
laughing and giggling and singing new melodies
they dont turn back even once ever to see
where am i and what has happened to me

i go on living each moment each day
with no feelings no hope ever to see sun rays
i have done my part with profound honesty
nothing’s left as this soul is no more thirsty

 i try to breathe but i am devoid of air
sucked out of me to leave me in despair
i give up finally to the hands of time
for i have tried to hold on believing in shrine

The soul is empty heart no more
like a living dead cold very cold till the core
no more do i see those dreams of flights
replaced by nightmares in these cold lonely nights

dit dah dit !!!

Today this mind is very restless. Infact since yesterday it has been very very restless. A simple case of "dit dit dit dah dah dah dit dit dit" which simply means SOS. But I had no where specific to send my SOS to. So I sent my SOS to the entire world, knowing that I may not get any response. And I was not even waiting for any response.

I keep contemplating that why can't this human mind forget the things, which it even really wants to forget. Why is it sometimes so difficult to forget or let go. Why? Guess, this is what makes us human. Guess, this is called passion. Or may be not? I don't know what it is called, all I know is that I wish there was a magic wand to make all these memories disappear and let me fly like a free bird again.

From flying, this also was coming to my mind in the morning today. I wanted to fly. I always wanted to fly. And here I am flying "literally". Well, though that was not what I meant when I had wished that "I wish I can fly", guess God also read my wish by the book and granted my wish :)

When I hear the words "this is life", though I say "sigh", I do not agree. This is not life. We make our own life. Yes, there are circumstances which are beyond our control and sometimes even time is bad when everything comes at the same time. But, we do make our own life. The decision of what and who is significant or insignificant also lies with us. All I know is that never hurt a heart which truly loves you. You may move on with your life, but the heart which you have broken may never love again. But then everything is "to each his own". These are my thoughts and you all have yours.

Inspiration lies within us. Will power is in our hands. Letting go dosent mean the hurt shall stop. Hurt may remain for the rest of our life. Just beacuse you are hurting dosent mean you havent let go. The hurt remains as that thing was important and significant to you and the same thing hurt you, really bad. Letting go means though you may be significant and important, that dosent give you the right to keep hurting me, so I let you go.

My SOS, there will be SOS. But they shall remain with me......................

I don't know !!

I don't know what is this feeling
That I am feeling right now
Everything is calm
Yet seas are screaming the silent song

The waves are high
Crashing the shore
Breaking the silence
Making me feel no more

I close my eyes and let the pain surround me
For I know nothing will erase those words, said over
Never hurt the heart which loves you, I say to myself
For that heart will never forgive you
Even if it has to go through hell

hurt, more than hurt !

Hurt, more than hurt- is what is left
tears have dried, empty eyes refuse to rest
those words are still whispered in my years
months after months they refuse to disappear

How many days and nights, will I still suffer?
for my belief, my faith, the memories of which makes me quiver
I am tired, I am exhausted and want to rest
this hurt, more than hurt, has killed me instead

Never again I want to believe, what I once believed
for when faith is broken, there is no relief
my walls shall remain, on all four sides of me
even up and down, closing me forever, till eternity

The last Song

I dont mind to be that lonely girl
standing under pouring rain in a deserted corner
The girl with a broken smile
who refuses to believe that a heart can be so unkind

cuz she will be loved
one day she will be love love loved

I dont mind to be that lonely girl
hurting inside walking bare feet in a deserted street
The girl with a broken heart
who refuses to believe that her belief was just a streak

cuz she will be loved
one day she will be love love loved

Amen !!

Just a kind of a day to remind me again of human limitations, sometimes our genuine inability to judge right from wrong and ferocity and unpredictability of time.

Time- the power. Both to make and destroy. And we also believe in the ultimate superior- the immortal God. We have not seen Him but still believe in Him. Maybe that’s why it’s called “blind” faith.  Him, whom we seldom remember when we are happy and content but often remember when we are sad or in trouble. Even Calvin questions the very existence of God !! Does He truly exist? Is our present, our future really decided by the position of stars and planets in our janam-kundli (birth -chart)?  Does God really one day punish the wrong doers for their sins? Is there life after death? Is re- birth true or just a concept?

I don’t have answers to these questions. I too believe in God but at the same time I believe that God resides in our hearts. It symbolizes honesty, humility, kindness, love, strength and devotion to what you do, people you love and care about, purity of your thoughts, willingness to change and adapt to different situations, ability to take decisions to the best of our abilities under given circumstances and dream.

Whether we are punished for our sins in this life or not, that also I don’t know. But I do believe that if, unknowingly we have committed a sin or done something wrong and if we genuinely feel sorry about it, then the God within us shall also forgive us. But sometimes, just feeling sorry is not enough. Some wrongs may also require some actions to mend things or atleast make them better. There is a difference between saying sorry and feeling sorry. If you genuinely feel sorry, then you will take actions to amend things. Those amendments are mostly to take care of our own guilt as what was done cannot be undone. But yes, to some extent, sometimes, you may even be able to undo the done. Depends upon the degree of wrong.

We are humans. We all make mistakes. The question is not whom to blame for the mistake, but what is the solution to amend. But then there are some wrongs, which are done knowingly, on purpose. What about them? Does our Upanishads, the Bhaghavad Gita, the Vedas also tell us to forget and forgive those? Do we as humans, have that ability to forget and forgive everything?

I have no answers. I shall thus simply end my day by  believing in myself, being content in the fact that I have done more than my best under the given circumstances, I am human and I also feel pain and that I pray to God to give me strength, wisdom and good health to live a meaningful life, which He has given.

Amen !!!

Kyo ?

kyo aaisa hota hai, dil simat sa jaata hai
yaad karke un paloo ko, jo sirf hame rulaata hai
kyo nahi hum bhulte, woh sunheree kale raat din
dekhtee rehtee hai, aasman ko, shant, taro ke bin

ek ek aasu jab, nambh aakh se tapaktha hai
dheere dheere sarakhtee hue, mere galo se guzartha hai
sochti hu main, gum sum, ek kone main baithee hue
kya tumhe bhi mere is dard ka aehsaas hota hai?

yeh sirf meri kalpana hai, hakikat kuch aur hai
sirf is taraf aandhera hai, baki sab taraf savera hai
yeh bhi mera naseeb hai, bure waqt ki maar hai
yahi tho duniya hai, charoo taraf sachaiyii ki har hai

beet-thee hue waqt ke saath, yeh aasu bhi tham jayeenge
in do haatho se hum, nayi raah baneyngee
par yaad rehngee, yeh saree din, yeh sarii raatee
jo diye hai mujhe is waqt ne, woh saree tu-tee hue rishtee naatee

a fake world !!!

We live in a fake world, where everything is fake
smiles are fake, words are fake, all nothing but just a fine drape
those emotion that we see, those feelings that we feel
are so casual, simply erased with just one single light sweep

What to believe and what not to believe
there are wolves disguised in the skin of sheep
they shall slaughter you in the first chance that they get
for this is how they live, a fake life without any regret

While in Rome, do as the Romans do
this is one proverb, I shall never follow through
for I firmly believe in the path of true and fair
to fight this fake world, just develop a thick layer

Those who are not strong enough to face the truth
and hide behind fake masks to enjoy the forbidden fruit
they don't deserve the love, the trust, the faith we give them
for all we get is hurt, pain, agonising memories, a broken stem

Meri Udan !!!

urdthi hu mei kale baadloo se bhi upar
pankh hai door door tak pehleyee hue
chand ki kirnoo se, chamakta hua neela aasman
sabsee door, apni godh mei, mujhe chupaee hue

mand mand chand ki roshni, chutee hai mere pankho ko
jaise kyo asha ki kiran, mil gayi ho, murjhai hue phoolo ko
na koyi toofan hai, na koyi andheera
sirf mai hu, aur jagta hua savera

suraj ki lal kirne, dikhne lagi hai ambar par
pawan ke jhule ke saath urdthi hu mei, akele, ni-dar
chuna hai us chand ko, is muthi mei karna hai bandh
rok sako tho rok lo, na hongi mai ab pinjree mei bandh

thak ke har maan-naa, na seekha hai, in pankhoo ne
kaat bhi deye jo, bar bar, is behraham, duniya ne
phir se nikal aathe hai, ek nayi udan urdhnee ke liye
suraj aur chand, dono ko, apni muthi mei band, karne ke liye

urdhte urdhte phir bahut, door chale jaana hai
rukna nahi hai, khoobsurat savere ko apnana hai
woh kale baadal, gher liya tha jisne is phool se dil ko
choo na payengee phir kabhi, mere makhmali pankhoo ko

ek chiriya !!

Dil kii kya sune, woh tho kehta rehta hai
bahut se raang sajyee thee, par ab sab phikha hai
is raat ki subaah nahi, kabhi kabhi sochte hai hum
aur din ke ujalee mei, saare gum pee le thee hai hum

suraj ki kirne jab naya din lathi hai
hum muskuratee huae, ek naya kadam barhate hai
dil mei himaath hai, hatho mei hai kalam
phir kyo aaksar kuch soch kar, jhulas jatee hai hum

samundar ka thoofan bhi, aab shaant lagtaa hai
tapti dhoop mei jalkar bhi, thandi kirno ka aehsas hota hai
rokh na payengee aab yeh kadam, koi aandhi ya thoofan
dard hai jo seene mei, vahi dega es chiriya ko ek nayee pehchan

daar nahi lagtaa, aab kisi bhi baat sei
na taptee din se, na kali raat sei
aagar dil saacha hai, tho hum mantee hai
ek din naye raang ki subah hogi, yeh hum jantee hai

saree rishtee toot gaye, chup rahee hum
door se ek koone mei kharee rehkar, shaant, dekhtee rahee hum
pankh pehlayeegee yeh chiriya, khulee aasman mei, urdne kei liye
aur ek din urdh jayeegii, is rangeen duniya mei, jeene ke liye !!

Words !!!

This heart is burning with rage and desire
to erase those memories that once were fire
just because I do not believe in destroying
dosen't mean I have to forgive, forget and start lying

These tears are given by you to remind me of the pain
of those words which have cut through each and every vein
the trust I had is broken and shattered
I believed in you and that's all that mattered

Maybe I was wrong to believe in you
to believe in those words, which sounded so true
You cannot even feel the pain inside
You cannot even feel the rain outside

Just plain words will not make it heal
for you never made any efforts and the wound did not conceal
while you laugh I cry inside
hiding in a corner smiling outside

I have my pillars to support me in my quest
with their love I shall rebuild my nest
It will never be immaterial even with passage of time
for my feelings were true and not something I can unwind

This heart will always, forever remember you
just unable to forget those unforgiven words and forgive you
Sands of time will take care of me
make me solid and stand straight like a tree

lost !!!

today the words are lost
somewhere deep in the ocean or covered with frost
dont know how to remove the crust
and give this life one more thrust
the grey cells are spinning and refuse to rest
scared and tired and exhausted of the big test
i keep assuring them that everything will be fine
but they refuse to believe me and tell me to give a sign
but how do i tell them silence is what is left
there will be no more signs as there is nothing left
my heart keep questioning me and i have no answer
i keep silent and let it beat faster
one day it will slow down on its own
and then finally it will leave me alone
again i have lost the stream of thoughts
back in the ocean or covered with frost

Some memories are facts !!!

some memories are facts
they come every year
some memories are sad
they bring back the fears

Some memories you see
everyday in the mirror
some memories you live
everyday in absolute fear

some memories I know
will never be erased
some memories I know
will never ever fade

some memories are facts
they come every year
some memories I keep
to be near

Some memories are facts

I am just a simple girl !!!

I am just a simple girl

I am just a simple girl living an extraordinary life
I am just a simple girl wishing for a simple life
I am just a simple girl fighting this complex world
I am just a simple girl dreaming of a simpler world

I am just a simple girl who follows her heart
I am just a simple girl trying to build an Arc
I am just a simple girl caught in sands of time
I am just a simple girl trying to find her smile

I am just a simple girl living in silence
I am just a simple girl trying to find a balance
I am just a simple girl helpless in her cage
I am just a simple girl waiting for her fate to change

I am just a simple girl

Blue Rose !!

love those who love you
appreciate those who feel you
dont feel for invisible things
those who do not know a thing
about who you are and what you are
just flow with the wind
to new grounds where there is laughter
and new songs for you to sing
leave behind those memories which hurt you
leave behind those moments which crushed you
just follow your dream and follow your heart
achieving blue roses are not so hard
nothing is impossible if there is a will
the way to smiles is yet to be fulfilled
your whole life you have been a fighter
fighting against wrong and for laughter
the times will change for you little girl
the blue rose will be yours for which you yearn

Waqt !!!

i have seen the faces change
slowly very slowly
from one end to another end

i have seen the feelings change
slowly very slowly
from one end to another end

and during this change
i have stood helplessly, silently
in one corner
watching without moving, quietly
from one end to another

i used to ask myself why are you quiet
and my heart would say cuz there's nothing to say
i am not just a feather in somebody's cap
i have my own identity pride and dignity to protect
i am not a girl to just follow a stream
i am not as liquid as any dream
whatever i do i do with full heart
always full and never half

Wall !!!

silently im sitting and wondering and thinking
everything is on mute and my mind is shrinking
the clock is silent unwind for so many days
lost in my own thoughts i stare ahead and gaze
there is no light everything is dark
everything is so silent including my heart
is there a beat i ask myself ?
no, this heart has forgotten how to beat itself
i stare and see nothing in front of me
how i wish i could disappear for no one to see
away from this place far away in space
where no one can reach me no one can disgrace
im just a simple girl wishing for a simple life
I dont want to see, hear as it cuts like a knife
make me disappear once and for all
to a place far away, where no one can break my wall