Amen !!

Just a kind of a day to remind me again of human limitations, sometimes our genuine inability to judge right from wrong and ferocity and unpredictability of time.

Time- the power. Both to make and destroy. And we also believe in the ultimate superior- the immortal God. We have not seen Him but still believe in Him. Maybe that’s why it’s called “blind” faith.  Him, whom we seldom remember when we are happy and content but often remember when we are sad or in trouble. Even Calvin questions the very existence of God !! Does He truly exist? Is our present, our future really decided by the position of stars and planets in our janam-kundli (birth -chart)?  Does God really one day punish the wrong doers for their sins? Is there life after death? Is re- birth true or just a concept?

I don’t have answers to these questions. I too believe in God but at the same time I believe that God resides in our hearts. It symbolizes honesty, humility, kindness, love, strength and devotion to what you do, people you love and care about, purity of your thoughts, willingness to change and adapt to different situations, ability to take decisions to the best of our abilities under given circumstances and dream.

Whether we are punished for our sins in this life or not, that also I don’t know. But I do believe that if, unknowingly we have committed a sin or done something wrong and if we genuinely feel sorry about it, then the God within us shall also forgive us. But sometimes, just feeling sorry is not enough. Some wrongs may also require some actions to mend things or atleast make them better. There is a difference between saying sorry and feeling sorry. If you genuinely feel sorry, then you will take actions to amend things. Those amendments are mostly to take care of our own guilt as what was done cannot be undone. But yes, to some extent, sometimes, you may even be able to undo the done. Depends upon the degree of wrong.

We are humans. We all make mistakes. The question is not whom to blame for the mistake, but what is the solution to amend. But then there are some wrongs, which are done knowingly, on purpose. What about them? Does our Upanishads, the Bhaghavad Gita, the Vedas also tell us to forget and forgive those? Do we as humans, have that ability to forget and forgive everything?

I have no answers. I shall thus simply end my day by  believing in myself, being content in the fact that I have done more than my best under the given circumstances, I am human and I also feel pain and that I pray to God to give me strength, wisdom and good health to live a meaningful life, which He has given.

Amen !!!

Kyo ?

kyo aaisa hota hai, dil simat sa jaata hai
yaad karke un paloo ko, jo sirf hame rulaata hai
kyo nahi hum bhulte, woh sunheree kale raat din
dekhtee rehtee hai, aasman ko, shant, taro ke bin

ek ek aasu jab, nambh aakh se tapaktha hai
dheere dheere sarakhtee hue, mere galo se guzartha hai
sochti hu main, gum sum, ek kone main baithee hue
kya tumhe bhi mere is dard ka aehsaas hota hai?

yeh sirf meri kalpana hai, hakikat kuch aur hai
sirf is taraf aandhera hai, baki sab taraf savera hai
yeh bhi mera naseeb hai, bure waqt ki maar hai
yahi tho duniya hai, charoo taraf sachaiyii ki har hai

beet-thee hue waqt ke saath, yeh aasu bhi tham jayeenge
in do haatho se hum, nayi raah baneyngee
par yaad rehngee, yeh saree din, yeh sarii raatee
jo diye hai mujhe is waqt ne, woh saree tu-tee hue rishtee naatee

a fake world !!!

We live in a fake world, where everything is fake
smiles are fake, words are fake, all nothing but just a fine drape
those emotion that we see, those feelings that we feel
are so casual, simply erased with just one single light sweep

What to believe and what not to believe
there are wolves disguised in the skin of sheep
they shall slaughter you in the first chance that they get
for this is how they live, a fake life without any regret

While in Rome, do as the Romans do
this is one proverb, I shall never follow through
for I firmly believe in the path of true and fair
to fight this fake world, just develop a thick layer

Those who are not strong enough to face the truth
and hide behind fake masks to enjoy the forbidden fruit
they don't deserve the love, the trust, the faith we give them
for all we get is hurt, pain, agonising memories, a broken stem

Meri Udan !!!

urdthi hu mei kale baadloo se bhi upar
pankh hai door door tak pehleyee hue
chand ki kirnoo se, chamakta hua neela aasman
sabsee door, apni godh mei, mujhe chupaee hue

mand mand chand ki roshni, chutee hai mere pankho ko
jaise kyo asha ki kiran, mil gayi ho, murjhai hue phoolo ko
na koyi toofan hai, na koyi andheera
sirf mai hu, aur jagta hua savera

suraj ki lal kirne, dikhne lagi hai ambar par
pawan ke jhule ke saath urdthi hu mei, akele, ni-dar
chuna hai us chand ko, is muthi mei karna hai bandh
rok sako tho rok lo, na hongi mai ab pinjree mei bandh

thak ke har maan-naa, na seekha hai, in pankhoo ne
kaat bhi deye jo, bar bar, is behraham, duniya ne
phir se nikal aathe hai, ek nayi udan urdhnee ke liye
suraj aur chand, dono ko, apni muthi mei band, karne ke liye

urdhte urdhte phir bahut, door chale jaana hai
rukna nahi hai, khoobsurat savere ko apnana hai
woh kale baadal, gher liya tha jisne is phool se dil ko
choo na payengee phir kabhi, mere makhmali pankhoo ko

ek chiriya !!

Dil kii kya sune, woh tho kehta rehta hai
bahut se raang sajyee thee, par ab sab phikha hai
is raat ki subaah nahi, kabhi kabhi sochte hai hum
aur din ke ujalee mei, saare gum pee le thee hai hum

suraj ki kirne jab naya din lathi hai
hum muskuratee huae, ek naya kadam barhate hai
dil mei himaath hai, hatho mei hai kalam
phir kyo aaksar kuch soch kar, jhulas jatee hai hum

samundar ka thoofan bhi, aab shaant lagtaa hai
tapti dhoop mei jalkar bhi, thandi kirno ka aehsas hota hai
rokh na payengee aab yeh kadam, koi aandhi ya thoofan
dard hai jo seene mei, vahi dega es chiriya ko ek nayee pehchan

daar nahi lagtaa, aab kisi bhi baat sei
na taptee din se, na kali raat sei
aagar dil saacha hai, tho hum mantee hai
ek din naye raang ki subah hogi, yeh hum jantee hai

saree rishtee toot gaye, chup rahee hum
door se ek koone mei kharee rehkar, shaant, dekhtee rahee hum
pankh pehlayeegee yeh chiriya, khulee aasman mei, urdne kei liye
aur ek din urdh jayeegii, is rangeen duniya mei, jeene ke liye !!

Words !!!

This heart is burning with rage and desire
to erase those memories that once were fire
just because I do not believe in destroying
dosen't mean I have to forgive, forget and start lying

These tears are given by you to remind me of the pain
of those words which have cut through each and every vein
the trust I had is broken and shattered
I believed in you and that's all that mattered

Maybe I was wrong to believe in you
to believe in those words, which sounded so true
You cannot even feel the pain inside
You cannot even feel the rain outside

Just plain words will not make it heal
for you never made any efforts and the wound did not conceal
while you laugh I cry inside
hiding in a corner smiling outside

I have my pillars to support me in my quest
with their love I shall rebuild my nest
It will never be immaterial even with passage of time
for my feelings were true and not something I can unwind

This heart will always, forever remember you
just unable to forget those unforgiven words and forgive you
Sands of time will take care of me
make me solid and stand straight like a tree

lost !!!

today the words are lost
somewhere deep in the ocean or covered with frost
dont know how to remove the crust
and give this life one more thrust
the grey cells are spinning and refuse to rest
scared and tired and exhausted of the big test
i keep assuring them that everything will be fine
but they refuse to believe me and tell me to give a sign
but how do i tell them silence is what is left
there will be no more signs as there is nothing left
my heart keep questioning me and i have no answer
i keep silent and let it beat faster
one day it will slow down on its own
and then finally it will leave me alone
again i have lost the stream of thoughts
back in the ocean or covered with frost

Some memories are facts !!!

some memories are facts
they come every year
some memories are sad
they bring back the fears

Some memories you see
everyday in the mirror
some memories you live
everyday in absolute fear

some memories I know
will never be erased
some memories I know
will never ever fade

some memories are facts
they come every year
some memories I keep
to be near

Some memories are facts

I am just a simple girl !!!

I am just a simple girl

I am just a simple girl living an extraordinary life
I am just a simple girl wishing for a simple life
I am just a simple girl fighting this complex world
I am just a simple girl dreaming of a simpler world

I am just a simple girl who follows her heart
I am just a simple girl trying to build an Arc
I am just a simple girl caught in sands of time
I am just a simple girl trying to find her smile

I am just a simple girl living in silence
I am just a simple girl trying to find a balance
I am just a simple girl helpless in her cage
I am just a simple girl waiting for her fate to change

I am just a simple girl

Blue Rose !!

love those who love you
appreciate those who feel you
dont feel for invisible things
those who do not know a thing
about who you are and what you are
just flow with the wind
to new grounds where there is laughter
and new songs for you to sing
leave behind those memories which hurt you
leave behind those moments which crushed you
just follow your dream and follow your heart
achieving blue roses are not so hard
nothing is impossible if there is a will
the way to smiles is yet to be fulfilled
your whole life you have been a fighter
fighting against wrong and for laughter
the times will change for you little girl
the blue rose will be yours for which you yearn

Waqt !!!

i have seen the faces change
slowly very slowly
from one end to another end

i have seen the feelings change
slowly very slowly
from one end to another end

and during this change
i have stood helplessly, silently
in one corner
watching without moving, quietly
from one end to another

i used to ask myself why are you quiet
and my heart would say cuz there's nothing to say
i am not just a feather in somebody's cap
i have my own identity pride and dignity to protect
i am not a girl to just follow a stream
i am not as liquid as any dream
whatever i do i do with full heart
always full and never half

Wall !!!

silently im sitting and wondering and thinking
everything is on mute and my mind is shrinking
the clock is silent unwind for so many days
lost in my own thoughts i stare ahead and gaze
there is no light everything is dark
everything is so silent including my heart
is there a beat i ask myself ?
no, this heart has forgotten how to beat itself
i stare and see nothing in front of me
how i wish i could disappear for no one to see
away from this place far away in space
where no one can reach me no one can disgrace
im just a simple girl wishing for a simple life
I dont want to see, hear as it cuts like a knife
make me disappear once and for all
to a place far away, where no one can break my wall