don't make me dream !!!

Don't make me dream the dreams, not allowed to be dreamt
Don't make me walk the path, forever which is not meant
each day it's getting difficult for me, to stop and comprehend
to stay away and bury my feelings as im afraid to see the end

as i have left myself to drift with the flow
knowing nothing at all no more
i still restrain myself, so many times at times
as im afraid of these changing sands of time

each day as it grows stronger, the fear in me is making me weak
all i know is im afraid to yet again fall down from the peak
this time i will not be able to walk again, so hear me please
don't make me dream the dreams, which can never be released !!

immaterial !!!

immaterial it shall be, when the shadow of it shall leave me
immaterial it shall be, when it shall be lost forever for eternity
immaterial it shall be, when there shall be no sun, no moon, no stars to see
immaterial it shall be, when there shall be immaterial you, immaterial me

i still remember !!!

two small hands two small feet
came into this world to make it forever sweet
those tiny fingers when closed around my hand
i still remember the joy, which i could not withstand

the day he first stood on the ground
walking like a little prince with a golden crown
his first smile twinkled tears in my eyes
i still remember his first word and all his first tries

those tiny shoulders those tiny feet
are now bigger than me and know no retreat
as he stands shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand
i still remember the days when he built castles in the sand

the awakening !!!

there is a time to speak and there is a time for silence
there is a time to hold and there is a time for streak
Just like there is a time to feel and there is a time to need
there is a time for distance and there is a time to forfeit

life is divided into small small boxes of emotions
we open one of them and let it flow
and then there is a time to let it all go

I have seen them open and I have seen them closed
few of them were wasted and for them there is no hope
but there are still other boxes left deep inside me
i will open them one by one, slowly, decide me

you have seen me talk, now hear my silence
its louder than a thunder, mightier than the sword
for its an awakening after the great great world war

Insignificant me !!

It’s a great feeling of loss which I cannot describe

There is no medicine any doctor can prescribe

I am so silent that I myself cannot hear my beat

You will never know the pain bcoz of this retreat

Though its hard to believe, there is nothing I can do

I sit quietly and watch the things that you have to do

You will never see the sadness behind my smile

You don’t remember the words that have cut like a knife

When I remember you, I don’t smile anymore

There are only tears, washing the silent shore

Even if I want to talk, Im unable to do

Coz I don’t exist, I'm insignificant to you

poison in my blood !!

I sat there silently after a long long time

drinking the poison as if it was wine

no one knew what was going on inside me

because thats the way now I have choosen to be

silence speaks more than words

those who understand knows the curse

I dont have to say anything else anymore

as i dont wait as a spare sitting on the shore

I bled, not dead, but gone

I shall return to be forever strong

The light inside me is still alive

even if I am stranded in the darkness outside

I hug myself when I need some strength

I breathe slowly to understand, comprehend

all I need is strength in my feet and hands to mend

my shoulders can withstand the pain, not meant to bend

there shall be ..... !!

My soul is screaming, wanting to be set free

Away from everyone who think of me, nothing, but a flea

There are negativities around me, which I cannot anymore bear

I may be alone but loneliness is not what I fear

I want to start fresh, as clean as an empty slate

Choose my own colours and write my own colourful fate

I may not be perfect but one thing i am sure

I am not a disease for which you have to find a cure

My time will come, I still believe in myself

I will not let those rotten things make me feel like an elf

One day i will also say merry christmas and happy new year

for this is not darkness but just a pit stop to restart without fear !!